Setting Boundaries is the Highest Form of Self-Care and Burnout Prevention
In graduate school I remember professors frequently emphasizing self-care as one of the most important practices we could engage in as we entered the field of clinical social work. After hearing it repeatedly, I thought, I get it. I’ll take walking breaks, sleep well, leave work at work, exercise, practice yoga, and spend time with my loved ones. I’ll be fine.
I thought these behaviors would protect me in an emotionally intense career where I hold the stories and trauma shared by strangers with me daily. But one thing I don’t recall being emphasized enough is this: self-care is not enough if you aren’t also setting healthy boundaries. Without setting healthy boundaries, burnout finds a way in.
I have seen therapists over the years to process the burnout I experienced, and I came to realize that my work with patients and families was not the primary source of my burnout. It was the combination of feeling overworked and not setting clear boundaries, especially with colleagues.
I was able hold emotional space with a family as their loved one approached their final moments in an intensive care unit, but earlier in my career, I struggled to say, “No, that will have to wait” when a colleague asked me to take on one more task. I often said “yes” when I really wanted to say “no.”
If there is one thing I want you to take away from this, it is this: prioritize your time and energy, because if you don’t, no one else will.
Signs you may need stronger boundaries:
Post-traumatic stress
Self-neglect and overgiving
Counterdependency (a compulsive need for self-reliance)
Depression
Burnout and apathy
For me, I have experienced many of these at one point or another during the course of my career in healthcare. Burnout, in particular, took a front seat for quite some time until I was able to face it more directly.
Burnout often develops when people “feel consistently overworked or under-challenged, are under constant time pressure, experience conflict with colleagues, or maintain a level of commitment that leads to neglecting their own needs” (IQWiG, 2006). These are patterns I have noticed in myself and many others in healthcare, including nurses, physicians, and fellow clinical social workers.
There is no universally accepted definition of burnout, but according to the Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care (IQWiG, 2006), the signs of burnout include:
“Exhaustion: People affected feel drained and emotionally exhausted. They report not having enough energy, being overwhelmed and feeling tired and down. They may also develop physical symptoms like pain and gastrointestinal (stomach or bowel) problems.
Alienation from (work-related) activities: People who have burnout find their jobs increasingly stressful and frustrating. They may start being cynical about their working conditions or colleagues. They may increasingly distance themselves emotionally, and start showing less interest in their work.
Reduced performance: Burnout mainly affects everyday tasks at work, at home or when caring for family members. People with burnout are very negative about their tasks, find it hard to concentrate, are listless and lack creativity.”
Now that we know that a lack of boundaries can contribute to burnout, what can we do about it?
The first step is awareness. Recognize what’s happening and remind yourself that having boundaries is not only okay, it’s healthy. Boundaries support more sustainable relationships with your work, your colleagues, and your personal life.
Therapy can help you explore your patterns, begin setting boundaries at a pace that feels manageable, and reduce the guilt that often comes with it. Most importantly, it helps you reconnect with yourself and protect your time and energy. It is the highest form of self-care.
Setting healthy boundaries is not a one-time activity. It’s an ongoing practice and a skill you build over time. For me, learning to set boundaries changed my relationship with burnout and helped me take back control of my time and energy.
I’m still practicing it myself. Where are you in your own journey with self-care?
Learn more about burnout therapy here.